Death is in the air - a soft smell like rain soaked earth and a sanguine rose
Death is so much a part of our lives but we disconnect from it in the same way we disconnect from parts of ourselves. We cut off from our feelings, are too busy, or afraid to actively grieve the deaths of beloved family, friends, and pets. Three years after the loss of his wife of 60 years, my Dad occasionally says to me, "I know I should be over it by now." And I say, "Dad, at 90, you are not likely to ever get over it. So don't try. Missing Mom makes sense." He is always relieved to be able to be with his feelings without judgment.
These are not the only deaths that we are encouraged to minimize by the pace of our lives and times. There is the sporadic losses in our lives like death of a marriage, beliefs about the world, self concepts, and changes in relationships with friends, colleagues or community.
The most ignored, however, are the daily deaths; the cells in our body, the seasonal changes, and most notably, our expectations. How we expect, or want, or think our experience should be, or how those around are to respond to us or behave, is often not what happens. We are called on daily to accept what is and be present. This call shows up through our mistakes, denials, misunderstandings, judgments, shame, anger, and fear.
A reminder to each of us is whenever we have a strong reactive feeling is to take that breath. We all know this tool works, but really, how many of you do it? Take that deep breath and wonder for one quick moment what changed, what didn't meet your expectations. Or simple ask:
What just died?
Perhaps death is part of our lives to remind us to remember to live in a state of acceptance and to be fully present in the moment.
Today's Haiku has been inspired by a number of deaths this week and past month; the father of someone very close to me, and a long time colleague were both buried yesterday (ironically - both in Florida) and another friend's mother in a few days, and a colleague's husband a few weeks ago.
Let us all offer deep gratitude for Bill Rafkind, Randy Meyers, Karen Sjostrom Hedger and Nancy - along with the people you know who have recently died for their lives that touched us in ways we will never know. I wish for all of them and their families an abiding peace and acceptance.
Thank YOU for being alive, reading this far and considering my thoughts.
Blessings,
Sally
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