There is a certain song that may have prejudiced me against the name Lola (whatever Lola wants...Lola gets). So when I enticed her to join me and she flat out refused I was annoyed. Maybe a little offended. I asked again. She actually got up and walked away! The look on her face had a strong flavor but I wasn't sure the meaning. Disdain? Regret? Fear?
When I went after her, she literally bolted. Really angry now I gave chase thinking,"I'm now going to be late thanks to her." Yet suddenly realizing that chasing a mixed breed Cocker Spanial and Australian
 |
|
I got the reverse view
|
Ridgeback through a huge yard was absurd. I knew who the winner of that would be! So I just let her be and left her in the yard.
She could have had a doggy treat!
Which makes me wonder, how often do I miss out on some universal goodie? Really, how often have I misunderstood a good intention as someone trying to control me by insisting I do something that I think I don't want to do? Or do I sit back when a treat is waved in my face?
The Lola incident was preceded by a wonderful life learning on power. I had been planning to do a training about owning our power with two colleagues. We canceled the class for various logistical and personal reasons, but in the designing of the class I got to see my own power issues emerge. I noticed when I became passive and let others call the shots, when I was too assertive and opinionated and when I chose to fully
step up, share my wisdom and my skills.
I think of it as the Goldilocks of power: too hot, too cold and just right. Not an easy balance to maintain.
Your challenge for the day: notice throughout the day whether, and how, you have power at the wrong temperature for your comfort or those around you; including impatience in the grocery line, anger at phone tech support, temptations to not be fully honest when a slight omission may make things easier.
For bonus points: take a peak inside when you notice a power transgression. Does your breathe stop, do your shoulders lift, does your gut tighten? You can use these markers later in reverse. My left shoulder is high. Am I am being too passive or assertive for the given situation?
After you have taken the time to ruminate over your own misuse or misconstrued power, please treat yourself like Lola treated me.
When I arrived home hours later, she jumped, and licked and whined with joy. The sheer pleasure of having the human back - the incident long ago forgotten. I know, we humans don't forget as easily but we can certainly forgive our transgressions.
And whine with joy at our humanity.
